>my mind began to turn over pages of the past for me this evening. Some of them flew by so quickly that there was barely time to see what year they may have covered. It seems that I've been drawn backwards to a time I once lived and now I'm living again. I enjoy the reminders of how things once were and how they seem to be again. In my heart of hearts I know it can't last much longer because some sort of spiritual rhythm is at work within me and I'm not supposed to be in the same place for too long. Growing up I was not ever in what some would refer to as a home. There were places that felt like home for a little while but they did not last. Oddly enough I didn't even come 'home' from the hospital with my mother. I was kept there for ten-twelve days after being born because of difficulties in survival. Obviously I did survive but there are so many questions concerning what it was I survived that is wrapped in the cloak of untruths shared with family members(most of them dead now)and the outright lies that were perpetrated by those closest to me. When I finally came 'home' from the hospital I was placed with an aunt. My mother's sister who was a school teacher with a 10 year old daughter. I know now from memories that I was with them for at least two years. I was walking about and trying to run when I was moved from the aunt's home to the home of my father and mother. Following that I was placed in the care of one grandmother or the other until I began school. Weird stuff went on during those years. The stuff that nightmares are made from including a one legged life size doll nearly three feet in height that lived in the closet of the room in which I was placed in my parent's house.